Is it okay to become Jealous if my partner looks at someone else?

Kim — Thu, 15 Sep 2011 12:52:33 +0000

You have probably thought about this a few times, or at least heard others talk about it. Or asked yourself “Is my Jealousy acceptable with this?” As it always is with jealousy, there is no book that tells us the rules of what you can and cannot do in a relationship, It’s completely determined by your own relationship’s boundaries.
It’s well discussed whether it’s okay, or not to look at others when you are in a relationship, whether you are together with your partner or not, when you look at others.
Now my clear answer for you comes, and I’ll hope you listen very well.
Everybody is looking at people from the opposite sex! It’s completely normal and simply okay.
If you believe that you don’t do it, then ask yourself just one more time, because I’m sure you do. There’s a very high chance for your partner to do the same, even if it’s a jealous partner you have. It doesn’t need to be every day, but just sometimes. Now when we are at it, ask yourself whether you

will be jealous if your partner did the same.
You might think that your partner doesn’t have any reason to be jealous, and you’re absolutely right, but that means you don’t have a reason to be jealous about it either.

The red Ferrari and jealousy:

We can take an example that was actually the example which made me become free from jealousy when my partner was looking at others:
If we now assume that you walk with your partner, and you suddenly catch the sight of a nice Ferrari that just shines in the sun with its red color. What are you doing here? You look! Why do you look? Because it’s different and interesting to look at compared to a metallic green Skoda. You become curious.

This is exactly the same mechanism taking place in you and your partner’s head, when someone from the opposite sex comes along and take some attention.
If you ask yourself, you already know that when you spot a person of the opposite sex, you won’t necessarily want to know the person better or because you feel something. It’s nothing but a visual “pleasure” and a lot of curiosity.
It would only be abnormal if you didn’t look at persons of the opposite sex!

To speak about your Jealousy is always a part of the solution:

My suggestion is always to talk to your partner about it. Talk about everything, several times and always. Show your feelings and be open about when you feel jealous. If you’ve read my book, I’m sure you already understood my message.
When you are looking at another, try to put your partner into the example of the red Ferrari. Remember to talk quietly, otherwise your partner will probably just be stubborn and thus never give you the right to anything.
I would never wish for you to be unfair to your partner, but if he/she denies that it’s okay, that you just cannot look at the opposite sex, then stop doing it when you’re with your partner. But when you’re alone or accidentally study a person from the opposite sex when you’re with your partner, stop feel like that you’ve done something wrong, or that you are a bad partner.
I hope this post helped you, or has answered some of your questions. You’re more than welcome to drop a comment, so we can discuss the topic or hear some examples from real life.

Have a nice day out there my friend, remember to keep your spirits high and think positive!

The book about Jealousy

Is it okay to become Jealous if my partner looks at someone else?

The red Ferrari and jealousy:

To speak about your Jealousy is always a part of the solution: