Emotions are one of the most complex topics to talk about, because they can neither be seen or measured. (They can actually be measured with advanced technology, but we relate to what we can.)
Emotions have a different meaning and significance, depending on who you ask, no one is exactly alike.
Therefore, it’s also important as a couple to talk about feelings, as much as possible. One of the main mistakes that people make throughout their lives is to have a certain conviction in relation to their partner’s feelings. So we tend to think we know how our partner feels and thinks in general and in specific situations.
It’s not always the case that we know that without we have talked with our partner about it. Therefore it’s important to know each other’s chemistry, borders and what activates us emotionally.

 

Am I not in love anymore?

Most relationships have a ‘new in love’ faze. It varies, of course, from relationship to relationship how long it lasts. There might be confusion and fear when you go from being new in love constantly to only be it sometimes.
Just to make it clear, I’m not saying that you only fall in love once. I believe that with the right partner, you can be it the rest of your life. Of course you cannot expect to be new in love, all the time, but just sometimes.
It doesn’t change the fact, that it could create confusion and fear, when your in love phase becomes covered with everyday life and routines. Here it’s important to be aware of what’s happening and that it’s perfectly normal.
If not, it can lead to insecurity, doubts and frustrations.
Emotions are not a made of a solid material, it changes from time to time. The beauty of not being in the new love phase, is that at the time it happens, you’ll probably know your partner very well, and you’re probably having a more calm relationship without too many ups and downs. And when the ‘new in love’ feeling pops up once in a while, you can usually relax more and enjoy your love, because you know your partner much better than you did in the beginning of your relationship.
The point is that you must try to forge an overview picture of your emotions and accept that some days or weeks are better than others.
If you master that, it’s an effective way to keep jealousy away from the door.
It’s okay not to be in love all the time, there are very few who fell like that all the time. As long as it’s not for months, then it could be the time to start asking yourself about what you really feel for your partner.

But take it easy and relax. When you are able to do that, it’s ironically easier for your love to evolve better than if you are tense and constantly thinking about the little details in your relationship and the feelings you feel.

In this context, it’s also important that you can see things from your partner’s perspective and know that he/she may be uncertain just like you.
So if your partner has a stressful time, is in a bad mood or something else, then it’s okay not always to be top of the love mountain. You don’t even have to be affected in a negative way by these oscillations, because it’s completely normal.
The main thing is just to love each other more than one week at a time.

 

How to care for your feelings?

There are many ways to care for your feelings and for each other. First and foremost it’s important that you talk openly about your feeling, and that you don’t hold anything back.
A regular dialogue about your feelings is another effective remedy against jealousy.
For example one day, think that your partner is particularly delicious, naughty or nice, say it and show it. It’s like all other emotions, positive as negative emotions, always nice to get them out, especially when they are welcomed by your partner.

All relationships need the presence in greater or lesser degree. Presence means that you can feel your partner, either mentally or physically, depending on what works for you.
Typically we connect presence with a physical thing, such as cuddling calm and cosy in the bed. It works really well!
It’s important to remind each other about that, it needs attention; it’s a good way to prevent jealousy.
It usually needs special attention, if you have been quarrelling, or been away from each other for a long while.
Maybe you have been physically away from each other, such as travel. It can also mean mental distance, if one of you has been busy for a long period, has started a new job or similar things.

No matter what, it’s important for your relationship to have the necessary degree of presence. It does – as I said earlier – not have to be a physical thing. It can also be a trip to the cinema, a long walk or a shopping day. You definitely know what works best for you.
It’s quite simple; a couple of hours with cuddling can completely kill jealousy.
So become a champion in cuddling and relaxation, and find peace and a grounded feeling together with your partner. In that way you’ll surely be pleased.

 

Letting go of your grief from the past

We have all tried to get hurt once or several times in our lives.
It’s an elementary reason for us to be jealous. Jealousy inhibits one’s ability to let go of our emotions, both good feelings and bad feelings, simply because you are afraid of getting hurt. Therefore you take care of yourself.
Again it’s important that you talk with your partner. It’s important that he/she understands your past and why you are who you are.
If your partner understands you, you get the space you need. It will help you to move on and say goodbye to the unpleasant experiences that might lie in your past.
It might be that you have caught a previous partner in cheating on you or kissing another. It can be many things.

As with so many other things, in jealousy it is primarily important to acknowledge what has happened in your past and that it affects you now.
Separate the past from the present, so it does not interrupt your new relationship.
This can be done if you ask yourself why your sometimes become jealous, because you actually are just afraid that your partner is going to hurt you.
Once you’re aware that you may be jealous because you’re afraid of getting hurt, you can really do something about your jealousy and let it go. If you trust your partner, as I think you do, you can tell yourself you won’t get hurt.

 

Love is love

There are many ways to love your partner, but remember that if you really love your partner, you should also only wish him/her the best.
When you sometimes become jealous, ask your rational sense if it’s really fair?

Love your partner and show that you really want him/her the best. It will give you so much in return.
If we do not keep ourselves on a leach, we sometimes forget that we are with our partner, because we love them, and not only because we must love ourselves and think about our own interests.
It’s important to remind ourselves that we are with our partner to get more out of life. W we want the synergy effect like “one plus one gives three ‘. If you love your partner, sometimes remind yourself that you just want him/her the best for their own lives and be happy.
If you do, it can often be easier to let rationality overcome jealousy.

 

Show your emotions

I’ll round this chapter off with something that is very important. It’s as important as being able to communicate properly.

You must show your feelings! If your partner loves you, he/she will surely want you always to do it as much as you need to. Also if you think your feeling are corny, embarrassing or taboo.
You will in most cases be surprised that you aren’t the only one who feels the same as you do.
If you always show your feelings, negative and positive emotions as well, it will strengthen your relationship in the short and long term.
It will give you peace, confidence and space to be yourself.
If you are in a relationship, where you frequently tell your partner what you feel like in positive emotions, it helps to kill the jealousy and insecurity, and negative thoughts, and even moods.

So remember it now, make yourself do it right away, I’m sure that your partner wish you do.