In this chapter I’ll tell you what it means to remember to live your own life as it’s essential for a relationship.

Many people live in a relationship where one part dominates more than the other. That’s not how it should be in a relationship, because a relationship is based on combining two lives, which means you don’t have to say goodbye to your old bachelor life and hello to equal space for both parts.
If not, the dominant person mostly become jealous, because no boundaries are drawn. There are many other disadvantages of a relationship like that.

The important thing I’d like point out here is that I don’t mean henpecked as you are your partner’s slave. I just mean that there should be the same space for your both to live your own lives.

When I was younger, I regarded having a girlfriend as an ’either-or’ option.
At that time I didn’t see my friends much or made things in my own interests.
I did spent so much time on my relationship, because I led jealousy ruin my relationship over and over again, typically all the stupid things I said and did when I was jealous. I had to spend time on making up for my misbehaviour when I was calm. I gave up on my relationship in several aspects, because I completely forgot to care for my own life and my own interests. At that time, I didn’t know what was the reason.
You must remember that we are in a relationship so that both parts can get more out of what only two persons in a relationship can provide together.

So try to erase the illusion that you are either single or not. You could be in a relationship without major limitations.
Depending on how your relationship works, the only limits you typically have are that you just don’t kiss, cuddle or have sex with others. What you can call “any” physical contact with the opposite sex. It is also quite common that you do not.
With that said, try not to limit yourself more than what is necessary good, open your eyes and see the opportunities which lie at your feet.
Next time you feel limited by your relationship, stop for 5 minutes. Use the time to ask yourself whether you really are limited?

You don’t own each other

The headline is very clear: You don’t own each other. We must respect each other’s desires and dreams and respect each other’s limits.
If you forget your own hobbies, and all the things that make you happy beside the relationship, when you are in a relationship, then you will slowly become depressed, irritable and stressed. Eventually most likely jealous, and it ends in a breakup.
When you meet a new partner, you can risk losing your old agenda a bit. There are many reasons for this to happen. It’s maybe because of time or maybe something else.

It’s important that you take care of yourself and remind yourself of what’s important for you, and your life!
If your partner doesn’t want you to go on holiday with your friends because he/she is too jealous about your heading south and partying with your friends, do not just agree on it.
Feel inside yourself and ask yourself whether it’s fair your partner puts these restrictions on you?
Talk about it: it’s the only way your relationship can get better.

I cannot repeat it enough how important it is that you care for your own life; What makes you really happy. In the beginning of your new in love phase, it can be hard to feel and notice what’s important to you, it’s completely normal. That’s how it is to be in love, it’s wonderful.
If you don’t respect yourself and your desires for a longer period of time, it can end up in stress and depression. It could also have a negative effect on your jealousy, and ultimately result in the breakup.

You should also be aware if you delimit your partner. You must be able to respect each other’s boundaries and draw your own boundaries. The challenge is to find the balance.

Give yourself some space from each other

For a relationship to work, it’s important also to give yourself the air and time away from your partner as you need. Not necessarily for several days, just once in a while, so you still have room for yourselves.
It’s hard to say, when we exactly should take time for ourselves. It’s deeply individual from relative to relative. The only one who surely knows it, is yourself.
If you think about it, I’m pretty sure that you know what I mean. Once you get the feeling that you and your partner should get some air, do something about it. Let it be a healthy habit for both of you.
If you don’t get time away from each other occasionally, the risk of jealousy arises is much larger, simply because you don’t take care of your personal interests and needs.
It’s important that you communicate calmly about it, especially if your partner doesn’t understand your needs. Otherwise there may be confusion and misunderstanding in this regard.

Practicing in paying attention to your own needs, and when you think it’s a good idea to get some air then get it. If you keep practicing, you will eventually make it fully automatic one day, and get rid of a lot of unnecessary bickering and jealousy.